Mati-ism and Black Lesbianism

At first I was a little confused about the difference between mati-ism and black lesbianism but when I read the converstion between Audre Lorde and Astrid Roemer it was quite clear. My question is, why is Astird Roemer and the other Surinamese women accepting of the Matisma culture? Roemer says"Simply doing things, without giving the a name,and preserversing rituals and secrets between woman are important to me." I just do not see how hiding your identity can make for a happy life. Audre says "If we want to have power for ourselves this secrecy and this silence must be broken" and she makes a great point. By continuing the rituals of "secrecy" you are agreeing and saying that it is okay to hide who you are. While I understand ritual is important there is a reason why the world is constantly changing. If there is no change, there is no growth. Wekker also says at the end of the article "In a society where the avenues to status for working class women are limited, it would not seem wise to declare onself openly and thereby alienate potential personnel..." So then is Mati-ism about perserving ritual or doing the "safest" or smartest thing for oneself by keeping all possible options open?